SamEpisco

A tough day

Hi gang.  I just wanted to check in with everyone.  Its been a tough day with the awful events at Virginia Tech.  I thought it might be a good idea to do a brief post on the blog.  Sometimes when things happen on other college campuses, it can seem to hit close to home even if its not our college, or a college where we have friends or not.  I am not sure why that is, it just is sometimes.  Maybe its because when you are in college, away from home, the safety net seems a little stretched thin. 

How are you feeling about today?

When horrific events happen right in front of us, (and with the immediacy of news coverage everything seems to happen right in front of us regardless of where it happens), we are brought face to face with the brokenness of our world.  There is so much capacity for love, and goodness, in the world, and in all of humanity, that it just doesn't make sense when such brokenness manifests itself, causing fear, pain, and hurt. 

But, even in the darkest moments, we have the promise found in  the beginning of John's Gospel, "The light shall always overcome the darkness." 

There is  a prayer in the Prayer Book (page 815), For the Human Family:

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son:  Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes one earth; than, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

We should also keep in our prayers the students who were killed, and their families. 

We should hold the other students and faculty at Virginia Tech in prayer as well.

Tell me how you are doing.

The Fifth Wedneday in Lent

The meditation below reminds me that we are in Spring Break season.  I know many of you have just returned, are currently at, or just getting ready to leave on Spring Break.  For some, Spring Break represents a time of escape, escape from the stress, the pressure, the discontent, of College life.  Frankly, I think that's ok, and sometimes we really do need that.  But we all are well aware that the way in which we sometimes escape is really only a bandaid, and doesn't really refresh us to be prepared to "re-enter" the life that awaits us.  One of the great things to me about Benedictine spiritual practice is the value they place on finding balance in life.  So what if, on Spring Break, you find some balance in "re-freshing" your soul.  Find some quiet time to rest, connect, go for along walk, talk talk to God, pray.  Is that too naive?  That's a real question, I want to know your answer.  I have been asking each week, "What are you listening for?"  Have I sent my expecations to high?  Do you really have the time, or even the interest, to hear from God?  I hope you take some time to answer.

Here is the mediation for this week that got me thinking:

Wednesday in the Fourth Week of Lent

Isaiah 41:1–4

Quiet down, far-flung ocean islands. Listen! Sit down and rest, everyone.
Recover your strength. Gather around me. Say what's on your heart. Together
let's decide what's right. (The Message)

As a parent of young children, I fight to get them to "sit still" at least
once a week in church and usually more often. There is a limitless energy
in kids; you have seen it. Part of their fight with me is power: they do
not want to give in to me, to let me "win" the battle. I see in them a fear
of holding still, that letting me have the power relinquishes their control
of the situation.

A simple lesson for us to learn, isn't it, about our own hesitation to
hold still, to let God "win" the battle of power over us? What happens
when we relinquish control? Let us take a few minutes to stop the wiggling
we're doing as adults, the wiggling away from spiritual time, wiggling
away from prayer. Let us say to ourselves: this is important time for
me to let go and give God the control. It requires that we listen, that we
stop moving, that we let God have our attention, even if only for a short
time. With my children, I try many approaches—among the worst, I yell
that they are not cooperative, that their behavior is inappropriate. I wonder
now, does God think we are not cooperative? that our behavior is
inappropriate? I have learned that a more successful approach—the one
for which God as Parent is our example—is to quietly, gently, talk with
my children about the time ahead and what is to be gained from sitting
still. Let's see what will happen if we listen during this time. Let's see what
we will discover if we are quiet and paying attention.

Lord, teach me to sit still.
I am listening, Lord, for _______________________________________

 

Fourth Wednesday in Lent

When I read the meditation below, I was remined of the old saying that the job of a minister, and of the church, is to "comfort the affliected, and afflict the comfortable."  Its sort of reminiscent of the "Blessings and Woes" we hear from Jesus in Luke's Gospel.  (i.e. "Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be fed . . . . Woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consulation)  There is of course, a major part of the spiritual life that we seek in order to be comforted, even relieved, to bring us joy, to remind us of our belovedness.  But there is also the major part of the spriritual life that is suppossed to unsettle us, stretch us, to move us out of our safety nets, move us out of our bubble, to move us out of our comfort zone, so that we can be more than what we currently are.  But why do we need that?  Maybe its because in our bubbles, in our comfort zones, we live our lives only concerned with our own needs, our own self interest, and ulitmately, the spiritual life is about moving out of sefishness, and into selflessness, i.e. living for the betterment of others, not the the betterment of our selves.

Read the meditation below, and let me know, what are you listening for? 

Read Jeremiah 6:9–16a

Thus says the LORD: Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient
paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.

When I was in high school I heard a preacher whose name I have forgotten
but whose benediction I have not: "May the spirit of the Lord be
adequately disturbing." This message has traveled with me because I
find that if I do not feel disturbed by the Lord, I must not be letting the
Lord into my life. What does this disturbance mean? That I am uneasy
when I miss my prayer time, that I am uncomfortable when I witness
injustice and do not speak out against it, that I am riding along with all
going well and forgetting to give thanks, that I am stumbling along in
pain and afraid to ask God for help, certain that God has given up on
me. Like the apostle Paul, I try to live with Jesus Christ as model, but I
fail time and again. It is in this failure that God is more and more present
for me—disturbing me, challenging me to try again.

Lord, teach me to sit still.
I am listening, Lord, for _______________________________________

Third Wednesday in Lent

Well, I am getting better at keeping up with all the emails I am getting from the blog (at least a LITTLE better.)  I am so grateful to hear from so many of you, and hear how you are doing, and some very moving reflections from these mediations.  KEEP 'EM COMING!  Even if you can only take one minute to drop me a quick email, or post on the blog, its great to be in touch.  I wonder if any of you who went through Confirmation Class at St. Paul's remember the excerise we do with Galatians 6 "Bear one another's burden's, and in this way you fullfill the law of Christ", and one person who is laying on the floor is picked up over everyone's head, as each member of the group helps to lift.  I really do love that passage, and the simple excercise.  I hope this blog is way for us to "bear one another's burdens."

Here is the meditation for this week, I can't wait to hear your comments and reflections:

Wednesday in the Second Week of Lent

Read Job 37:1–18

Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.
(KJV)

The Psalmist writes that God finds us anywhere. Even if we turn our
backs on God—because we think we are too busy, because we are playing
too hard or working too hard—God is in our midst. If you have ever
been to an ocean, you know the constant roll and roar of the sea. For
me, there is no better place to witness at once the certainty and the mystery
of God's presence. The tide goes in and out every day; you can
expect it. The next wave returns and I am turned to an awareness of
God's creative force. I look out to the horizon, the end of this vast sea
beyond my vision, and I know in a moment that I am a very small part
of the creation of our enormous God. I cannot hear my own heart here,
because the tumbled crash of the breakers is louder than my own sense
of self, my breathing. Compared with this ocean, I am still. I am at once
humbled and grateful for God's watching over me, a speck of life on
this shore, standing in the tide. The water washes over my feet, and I
give thanks.

Lord, teach me to sit still.
I am listening, Lord, for ________________________________________

An Ash Wednesday Meditation

I was sent this awesome Lenten Meditation Guide from the Higher Education Ministries Arena.  Its called Sitting Still by Lois McCullen Parr with weekly meditations by Erin Brown.  You can find the whole thing here, http://www.cescm.org/orderguide.html, I highly recommend it.  I thought I would draw from it for our time together during Lent.  Here is an excerpt from the Introduction:

Beginning with the tradition of ashes on one's forehead, symbolizing death and sorrow for sin, Lent began for me a few years ago with the re-reading of T.S. Eliot's poem "Ash Wednesday." Eliot's prayer poem pleads with God to "Teach us to care and not to care/Teach us to sit still." I decided that year to discipline myself to read the poem every day of Lent.

T.S. Elliot's poem can be found here:  http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ash-wednesday/

but here is the wonderful meditation for Ash Wednesday in the guide:

Read Psalm 37:3-7

Let the Lord lead you and trust the Lord to help. (CEV)

I own a Zen mditation book called "That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You to Seek," and I have quoted its title often to name what I observe in the problems college sttudents describe to me.  The thrust of the book is this:  stop working so hard at seeking-just sit down and pay attention. Hold still.  It is a lesson I have learned over and over again (and am still learning):  when I am still, listening to the sounds around me and taking in the world with all my senses, I find a peace that eludes me when I frantically try to find it.  This is simple advice, but so hard to practice.  In this season of Lent when we see the world move from winter to spring, when we feel the renewal of life around us, we can readily find God.  Just walk outside and listen to the birds.  Hold still long enought to take in the details of God's creative energy.  Take a deep breath.  Stop trying so hard.

Lord, teach me to sit still. 

I am listening, Lord, for _________________________________________________

I really wonder how would you would finish that sentence.  What are you listening for?   How radical an idea is it for you to stop working so hard at seeking, and just sti down, pay attention, hold still.  Stop trying so hard, and just "be?" 

Agape, Sam

Its Ash Wednesday, should you go to church?

Heck, I don't know if you ought to go to church, that's up to you!  Is that an awful thing for a youth minister to say?  Maybe it would be better to follow up with the question with a question, like, "Why would you?"  Well, it is the beginning of Lent, that season that we know is suppossed to be really serious.  But why would YOU want to go?  Is the message the church has to offer you really relevant?  Does it make any connection to you and your soul any more? 

There have been so many times when a young person has explained with great intensity why they only come to church to see their friends, not because they believe in any of this stuff.  That is fine with me, I really have no problem with that.  But time and time again, I have seen those same young people drawn to worship because it provides them something they can't describe or understand, but yet it provides comfort, connection, healing, and solace.  You don't have to believe everything to believe anything.  God takes us just where we are, and is stretching and reaching out to meet us there.  There is comfort and healing to be found in the spiritual life, even if we don't believe in one bit of it.  I can't explain that, I just know I have seen it, and experienced myself, time and time again. 

So, you know what, I have changed my mind.  Should you go to church today and have someone put ashes on your forehead?  Yup, you should, especially if you are asking about it.  Do everthing you can to find some church today that is imposing ashes.  I mean, if you are asking, then maybe its because you know you need something, something you can't put words to yet.  But you don't want to be a hyprocrite, because you haven't worked out everything you believe and don't believe.  I understand, I really do, I remember that feeling.  For me, though, I have reached a point where the basis of my faith is in sharing hand-in-hand all my beliefs and my doubts.  They change a lot, in fact.  It sometimes gets hard keeping up with them.  But I am on the journey, seeking, looking deeper, trying to find the divine.  God is there.  Sometimes I can see it so clearly, sometimes, well, I think we are just food for worms.  But in those times when I experience the divine, and realize I am a very small part of something much bigger, well, there just isn't anything else like that feeling.  Sometimes, every now and then, sitting in a mostly empty church, with a group of people I don't know, and I walk up and some person in strange liturgical garments, saying some strange words, rubbing black ash made from burn Palm Sunday palms, connects me to that feeling.  Yeah, in some strange way, every now and then, it connects.

So, go, try.  Seek, ask, listen.  Get connected.  Maybe.

Almighty God, you have created us out of the dust of the earth: Grant that these ashes may be to us a sign of our mortality and penitence, that we may remember that it is only by your gracious gift that we are given everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Saviou. Amen.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

(excerpts from the Ash Wednesday Service, The Book of Common Prayer, pg 265) 

Sam goes Blogging!

It all started about 8 or 9 years ago when a group of college students who had been in youth group together in High School told told me they really missed that sense of community where we could talk about our hopes, dreams, fears, and joys.  So, we started an email bible study during Advent and Lent that quickly grew to 40 or 50 college students talking about the nature of evil and good, isolation and abondament, hypocrisy, and frankly, anything we wanted to talk about.  I would post some reflection, comment, and scipture on a Wednesday night, and comments and comments on the comments and so and so on, would flow over the course of the week. 

I had taken a hiatus from the Bible Study the last couple of years, I thought it might have run its course, but I have been getting some of those comments again.  So, here we are, gathering across vast geographic areas in this virtual world that you all are much more comfortable in than I am. Its time for this ministry to reemerge, and I really hope you come along with us.  I am trying the blogging format.  I think it will have all kinds of advantages over the old email routine, in particular the ability for everyone to engage in discussion. 

I will post some groundrules for us to support the community life and discussion in a positive way.

I imagine will start with a Wednesday night postings, and see how that flows. 

Lent is a great time to engage with this type of spirtual discipine to open our hearts, souls, and minds to the spiritual life.