Its hard to describe the emotion I felt the day I left the Rift Valley Children’s Village. The Psalm appointed for the day said, “Happy are those who act with justice and always do what is right!” I have experienced overwhelming happiness as a gift from working at the Village from these children, as I was trying to just do what is right. But, I wasn’t feeling very happy now. This is a day of utter sadness as I packed, and walked around waiting for my ride. I tried to take in the last of listening to the sound of the area; children playing, roosters crowing, and dogs barking. I try and pay attention to the smell of the African mountains, which is constantly mixed with the smell of smoke from charcoal burning to cook meals and fires burning trash at the neighboring villages.
I am completey overcome by emtion, and in a constant state of grief about leaving these children. I have come to love them so much in such a short time.
Driving away is hard. I wasn’t able to say goodbye to all of them, so as we passed the school, some hung their heads out the windows and smiled and waved as we drove by.
Over the course of the next day and a half, I am finding myself randomly breaking down and crying at a moments notice, without any warning at all.
Images pop into my head of the children, Mole’, Isaka Benja, Raziki, Jane, Paulo, or I start to think of the mud huts we visited where Mama Monica lives with her little baby. The hut is somehow precariously placed on a small spot carved out of the mountain deep in the jungle. No water, no electricity, dirt floor, one room partitioned of with some sheets hanging.
The poverty is too extreme the people too gracious, the situation too overwhelming. I can’t hold back tears any longer. I will miss the people I met. I want to remember them, and hold onto what I have learned about them about Tanzania, about extreme global poverty and I want to start to piece together what they taught me about myself.
“Happy are those who act with justice and always do what is right!”
I am trying to act, but I’m not feeling to happy right now. Just sad.
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